Thursday, January 07, 2016
Wednesday, December 02, 2015
I clean my kitchen 20 times a day.
Okay, maybe not exactly 20, but atleast 17. I HATE waking up to a messy kitchen. The rest of the house can be falling down around me, but I need the kitchen to be clean in the morning. You know what I'm saying?
So, at night, exhausted from the long day of keeping-baby-alive-making-sure-homeschooling-teaches-something, I clean the kitchen. Pretty well. As well as my OCD brain needs to feel good about myself. Not necessarily always as well as a health department would give the thumbs up to.
I have one of those flat glass stove tops. I love the practicality of it, and hate the fact that I will sometimes use it as more counter space (just ask my mother how that works out when you leave the Bullet sitting on it while accidentally turning on the wrong burner. I digress...). I also don't always clean it like I should. More often than I'd like to admit I clean it just well enough. And then one day I realize how gunky it looks and get out my handy razor scraper.
I am appalled at the nastiness that comes off on my scraper. I mean, it looked fairly clean. How could this have all been right there all the time and I just kept passing over it? Gross. And gross. No wonder my house smelled funny when I turned on the burners.
Last week, in the middle of my scraping I realized something. I do the same thing to my heart. I have been feeling very spiritually gunked lately. Is that a word? Because right now it feels like an exact explanation of where I have been in my relationship with God for the last few months. Gunked up. And I knew it. Even though I felt this gross feeling in my soul I kept doing just enough to keep going. Go to church? Check. Read my Bible? Check (most of the time). Pray? Check. But only enough that I could move on and feel okay with myself.
Until one day I looked up and realized I desperately needed the scraper.
So, I've been scraping. It's amazing the junk that can live just under the surface of your life. The nasty attitudes and stinky habits that have little by little become hardened to my soul. In Psalm 139:23-24 it reads
"Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Necessary is not always fun. I may need that painted somewhere prominent in my house.
If you're feeling gunked the beginning of this Christmas season, join me in a little holly-jolly scraping. I want to spend this Advent season truly preparing for his coming, and meet the end of the year closer to my Lord.
How about you? What is your default when you begin to feel this way? I would love to know how you handle the "gunked" feeling.
Labels: Personal Holiness