Monday, April 14, 2014

7 Ways to Help Friends Who Struggle with Depression

From the outside looking in it makes no sense. The lack of emotion, the lack of desire to do the things they wanted to do before, the crying for no reason – all confusing. But here’s the thing: from the inside it’s just as senseless.

Most of the time we don’t know why we are in the state we are in..... join me for the rest of the story at SingleRoots today.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Soul Drought

I should have known.  I knew that life was chaotic and unscheduled and new things seemed to be piling up all the time.  I knew that my personality does not lean toward slowing down when life has gotten crazy - it leans much more toward mental breakdown and medication.  Ha.  *That was sort of a joke.*

But, it was coming and I felt the need to do something about it.  So I made a plan, contrived excitement, and jumped in to Lent.

And failed.  Miserably.

This was my worst Lent ever.  

It was like my brain decided that I would rebel against any plan set in place.  Not only did I not do my reading plan or get rid of excess like I planned....... I didn't even read my Bible.  At all. 

We traveled for two straight weeks and I dutifully carried it with me everywhere.  It went inside every hotel room, in my purse in the car, in my parents house when we were there.... it has racked up some travel miles this month for sure.  And yet, the spine was never cracked.

But it wasn't just the avoidance of reading the Word, I generally checked out on my spiritual life altogether.  At least on the inside, on the outside I'm a pretty good fake.

There are so many times in my life that I would LOVE to have an entire day to myself just to read and pray and generally be alone with the Lord, on this trip I had two such available days.  Two solid days of pregnancy sickness that kept me in my hotel room with nothing to do.  Did I take advantage of that time and dig into the Word?  Nope. I read a murder mystery and was surprised to find that you could watch Law & Order SVU every single hour of the day on cable.

Was there a reason?  Something I was avoiding or angry about?  Nope.  No reason at all.  It was senseless.

The result?  My soul feels as dry and dusty as the landscape outside my West Texas window.  

This spiritual emptiness comes out in my attitude, my parenting, my marriage, even the way I keep house.  It permeates every area of life and I can't live like this.  It reminds me of the lyrics of a song from a Christian band who has gone the way of the buffalo (my husband likes that phrase...)
"I pray for rain to come, and wash away what has made me numb.  I pray for rain to storm and drown the sin in me.  And the rain comes in the nick of time, I swallow hard cause my throat's been dry.  The rain comes beating on my skin and I'm washed away, nothing left within when Your rain comes." 

In the drought ridden land of West Texas I'm praying for more than one type of rain. 

I'm also reminded of how thankful I am for grace.  The knowledge that God loves me just as much as he did weeks ago when I was faithfully following Him is more than I could ever hope for. 

Here's hoping for rain.

Photo credit: Seth Patterson