The beginning of a series:
Lessons Learned in the Decision to Public School
I have something to admit. This is hard. I'm not kidding or being silly, it's hard to say this.
Homeschooling was drowning me.
I realize it now. I can look back after a month of my kids being in "school" and see that I was letting homeschooling take over my parenting. I was stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed, and always behind. Because of those things, I don't think I was being a very good parent.
Which is funny, because people who don't homeschool think homeschoolers are some sort of super parents. That's not always true, folks.
I was always worried that no matter what I did, I was leaving something out of their learning. This drove me a little too much, and instead of overcompensating I would just shut down.
Reading with my kid's wasn't something fun and bonding, it was educational. Cooking with my daughter? Math, not fun. Game night? Learning games, math, blah blah.
Have you seen that Walmart commercial with the woman holding the chart of where she buys her vitamins and when the other woman takes it away from her and shows her the simpler option of going to Walmart she sighs and says "thank you"? That is me, with God, about homeschooling in this stage of life.
I was not enjoying my children, I was educating them. This is NOT the purpose of homeschooling. Homeschooling should bring a family closer, but it was making me a bad Mommy.
I've been thinking a lot about my parenting lately, and I don't want to be a Mom who's kid's are super intelligent but think their Mom is all work and no play.
Now, not all homeschoolers are me. I know some amazing ones. Women who defy logic in how well they school and how they love their children. And, I'll be honest, I still think homeschooling is the best option. If you can do it. Properly.
Will I give up homeschooling forever? God knows. Will my kids do one semester, or the next 10 years? God knows. But I know that God is teaching me many lessons through this "sabbatical" from homeschooling, and this has been one of them.
Today, when my kids get home from school, instead of drilling them about homework and what they learned, I'm going to give them cookies and watch the Smurfs with them. I'm going to look into their eyes and see who they are, not what they are learning.
And tomorrow I think we'll have a party. One month of public school (and doing well!) deserves a cake.
And not one shaped like a book.