Friday, August 29, 2014

New Beginnings

So, I may have taken a brief hiatus.  It's funny how in such a short time so much of life can change.  I spent the Summer preparing myself mentally, physically, and spiritually for him.....

Meet Walter Lee Schaffner.  "Walt" for short.  He came quietly into the world on August 1st and my life has been forever changed.  Now, all that preparation?  Can't prepare you.  It just can't. 

The first time Sadie and Jack met Walt.

Walt is a pretty easy baby.  He is fairly predictable and has even been sleeping at night for four hours at a time which means I'm only having to get up once to feed him.  But, a newborn at 38 is much different than a newborn at 30.  In good ways and bad. 

For one - I am not stressing over my "deflated balloon" belly.  Age has added the wisdom to know that right now I'm supposed to look this way, so why stress over it?  Now, if my belly still looks like this six months from now then I may be writing a completely different blog post. 

Two?  The exhaustion is.....exhausting.  I would give up just about anything right now for sleep.  I had help every day until three days ago, so for the last three days I have had no one to hand him to so that I could take a nap.  The difference?  I can't make a coherent sentence, I forget to eat - unless it's sweet or caffeinated, I have worn my hair up for so long that I have a knot in the back that will probably take some heavy machinery to smooth out.   Did you know that you can keep showering and washing/conditioning and the knot stays?  Just thought you should know.

I had to ask the nurse at the hospital to teach me how to swaddle again.  I remember very little.

My kids are in heaven.  Sadie is a little mommy who wants to hold him, bounce him, and change the diapers.  Jack is constantly in his face talking to him and kissing him.  I still can't believe I have three children. 

I'm hoping to start blogging regularly again.  As a form of therapy.  You would think with a newborn I would have no time for blogging, but I actually have more time than I have in years.  Why, you ask? 

 That new beginning will have to be the subject of the next blog post...

Thursday, May 08, 2014

Ahh..... Pregnancy

Pregnancy at 37 is very different than pregnancy at 29.  In case you were wondering.

My body likes to remind me of this on an hourly basis.  I'm having to rearrange some priorities in our home so that I don't go insane.  Priorities like "I like my house clean" or "clean clothes are a nice luxury".

I am currently 26 weeks pregnant, and pretty sure I look as pregnant as I did with my son when I gave birth.  It's like your body just says "oh, I remember what this is like" and then your abdomen falls out.  I am having a love/hate relationship with it.  I love the fact that I don't have to suck in, because, what's the point?  I love that people expect me to be big.  I love that I can blame every ridiculous thing I say or do on pregnancy. I do and say these things in my normal life, but it's so nice to have a scapegoat.

The hate part - my limitations

This morning I moved a shelf.  I shouldn't have.  I have been sitting *mostly* since around 10 this morning because of it. I still feel like I should have been able to move that shelf, cleaned my house top to bottom while schooling my children and maybe whittling a handmade rocking chair. She-woman. Instead I exerted all my energy too early in the day and now I'm a little stuck. Good thing my kids can feed themselves now.

I have realized that I have to get most important things done before 2:00 PM.  The dishes, laundry, and cleanup that I usually finish up in the evening has been transferred to morning because I'm generally in a chair or in bed feeling very pregnant.  

But no matter how difficult it gets, it's not hard to remind myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  A sweet boy bundle of "worth it" that will be part of my life forever.  As my husband keeps reminding me, this is just a season in my life. A temporary limitation. On a good day this makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

On a bad day? I want to punch him.