What One Year From Today Could Look Like

I'm writing over at MarriageRoots today, come for a visit!
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We sat across the table from each other, drinking coffee, watching our baby play, and dreaming about the future. We made lists of things that needed to change, things we wanted to achieve together.

Stop wasting money on fast food.
Lose 20 pounds by Sadie’s first birthday.
Spend more quality time together........ click here for the rest!

The Shoulds


When my husband sends me off on a day to myself I inevitably end up at the bookstore. It’s my happy place. The browns and greens, the smell of coffee, the thousands of books tempting me with their words, and the racks of magazines I can just sit and flip through with no one asking me for a sandwich.

Pieces of Amy
But – the first ten minutes after I walk in is the same almost every time. I stand a bit paralyzed with the question “What do I want to look at? What do I like?” 

Come on Moms, you know what I’m saying, right? 

We gravitate towards the children’s section, the parenting section, or even the learning section (the homeschooler in me will never die). But this is my time; I can read whatever I want!

So, what do I want?

Uhhhhh….

It’s so easy to lose yourself. It happens so subtly, so quietly that you don’t even notice.  You used to love to read, to write, to exercise (yes, I did!), to do so many things. Now they've been replaced with the “shoulds”. 

*Cue the Casting Crowns music…* It’s a slow fade, when you give yourselves away….

I should do the dishes
I should read my Bible instead of this book
I should exercise 
I should make supper
I should have made "read my Bible" the first on this list
I should...

The “shoulds” are important, but they ought never to push out the “wants” completely. If we don’t hold on to the “wants” just a little then we are no longer us.

Lysa Terkeurst talks about the “soul thing” in our lives - the thing that we push to the side in order to get all the “shoulds” done. I love this quote from her book The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands “To do this soul thing is actually the exact opposite of selfishness. Keeping it inside with no chance to bless others would be the selfish thing to do.”  We, especially Moms, tend to think of ourselves as selfish when we take time to do things that aren’t “productive”, but Lysa is telling us that it’s actually the exact opposite. If God has given us gifts and talents, our “soul thing”, then it’s selfish of us not to use them.

Now I’m exploring the questions “What do I want?” and What is my “soul thing”? I'm asking God to show me what things I have pushed away and replaced with the “shoulds”. I know that I’m right where I’m supposed to be, being a wife and mother, but He also gave me my own gifts and I feel like I’ve locked some of them away in a box and labeled it “when all the shoulds are all done”. I’m praying for the key to unlock the box.

What about you? What is your “soul thing”? Are you making room for it in your life?