Lorri the Beautiful Bride

So, this weekend I was in Minneapolis at Lorri's wedding. I couldn't tell you guys I was going because it was a surprise to Lorri, so I hope no one thought I fell of the side of the oh-so-flat world. But now the cat is out of the bag and I can say.... . Lorri was beautiful! What a blessing to see her marry someone that seems so perfect for her. I have seen such a change in her life over the years and now she is a married woman off to start a family. Lorri, I love you. I loved sitting in the hotel room remembering the old days, you are one of those people that I can not see for years and then just pick up with as if it were yesterday. Steve (the groom), I must say, I have had a talk with Sadie about her poor attitude towards you and she told me that you were scary. hehehehehehehe.

I spent the weekend with Jessica and Stacy, and what a weekend it was. I don't think these girls would like me sharing this with you, but I will anyway, they wanted me to go, knew I couldn't afford it, so they paid. Yep, what wonderful friends. It was so nice to be around people who already knew "me" and I didn't have to try very hard. I was just me, and that was okay, and I could say "ass" and no one thought I was pagan. Well, maybe they did, but they were too. Well, maybe not Stacy.

Also part of our weekend was the s0-grown-up-and-even-more-interesting Ben Rhodes. Ben, I think John is going to wonder soon because I think I've told him atleast three times "You know, I forgot how great Ben was. Ben said....." Yeah. He's jealous. So, bloggers everywhere, we must hound Ben until he starts a blog, because I think his thoughts would be very interesting to delve into. I even think Ben thought my saying of "ass" was okay. As long as we kept it Biblical, which was easy because there are many asses in the Bible. Wait, I don't think that came out right.

Because I didn't get my camera back until after the wedding, the pictures will have to rest with Jessica and Stacy (who should be sending me a copy VERY soon....) I meant for this blog to be longer, so much more to share, but Sadie is not enjoying my ignoring. Here is one pic from Stacy for you. I love this picture.

Future news....

So, we heard back from the Baptist convention guys. We are flying to Hammond for an interview the weekend of April 7. So, on to the next step! They have narrowed it down to us and some other guy, so it's not a "done-deal". It's so funny, after being in Canada for so long, to interview for a ministry "job" and know that someone else wants it too. I know that may not sound funny to you, but we have NEVER done things this way. This will be our first venture into adult-job finding. Wait, that sounded a bit like prostitution, I didn't mean it that way. I meant, we just have never really interviewed for a job before. And, in Canada, if there is no pastor at a church that church might be without for years because there aren't really many ministers. So, our outlook on ministry has changed enough to make it weird to be in "the running" for a job that others want. I don't know if that makes sense.

Now, John just read what I wrote and said "that makes it sound bad for us leaving Canada, saying that there are no ministers", and he is right. But we have wrestled with this. We have wrestled with "did God call us to Canada forever or for 'a time'", and we still don't really know. One thing we know is that we are open to the call of God WHEREVER it may be, and we have grown out of our high-horse that said "we won't ever go back to the Bible belt". We have had several job offerings in the states and in Canada, and the only one we have prayed through and felt the leading of God to pursue was the one in Louisiana. We have to trust God, He knows what he's doing. If he wants us to stay in this great country-we will. We just would have to have a Word from Him to do it, we will not stay here on "principle" if we feel led somewhere else. Even if it is "home" and there are people who think we are "selling out" leaving Canada. We get alot of "it will be nice for you guys to be close to home, now that Sadie's here" comments, and that's true, but that is not in any way why we are pursuing this ministry. The fact that the ministry in in Louisiana, only a few hours from home, is just icing on the cake.

So, here's my request from my blogging community -pray for us. The meeting is Friday afternoon, April 7, over lunch. We want to make sure we are "us". We don't want to try to "make them like us", we want to be real. My Dad said (joking I think) "make sure you are a good Pastor's wife" and I said, and I quote, "Crap, Dad, if they don't like me then I don't want to go there." So, he said "well, be a nice me". Does Dad think I am not a nice person? (I don't think you think that, Dad). I will be a NICE, REAL me. Just in a skirt instead of sweat pants. I'm not stupid enough to be that "real".

You can also pray for the "moving details". I am a little bit, um, flustered. Maybe ALOT flustered over the fact that we cannot make real arrangements until just weeks before we actually move. I am a planner, a "plan in advance"-er. So, this throws a kink in my anal-retentiveness.

Sadie Sleeping and Jude the Dude

So, I was reading some internet-magazine stuff while Sadie was eating lunch (I don't ALWAYS do this, she was just taking a REALLY LONG time to eat!) and I realized she had gotten very quiet. How funny! She has never fallen asleep in her high chair before! Although, I kinda feel like a bad mom.



This is Joe and Jen's kiddo - Jude AKA - "The Dude". I love this picture and since alot of you know Joe, I thought you'd like it too. Now, make sure you say nice things (what else could you say, he's gorgeous), Jen's a blog reader!

Okay, now I really should go put her down in her bed for a nap, I'm sure that would be more comfortable!

She got embarrassed!

I caught her kissing her cabbage patch kid!


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It seems I hit a nerve....

I felt like to adequately respond to the wonderful responses I got from the "Real" post, I needed to blog. The comment box is just not big enough.

I think I may have touched a nerve with this one. Not in a "what you talkin' bout, Willis?" way, but a "I struggle with that too" way. I think we all struggle with being "real". I know, atleast, that the three people who live(d) in my home dealt with it, and if we are the "norm" in any way (hehe, I know Sarah, we are not normal people) then it must be wide-spread. Why is this I wonder? Part of me thinks that it was my Southern-upbringin. I know, it sounds like I'm blaming, but come on guys/gals. Most of you were raised the way I was, and we were taught to be good Southern Ladies who don't cause a "stir".

I was just telling John how tired it made me to be a pastor's wife. To know that my personality is to go into a room, find the 2/3 people I'm close to, talk to them and sit in the back while I worship. As a "pastor's wife", I entered the room, "talked" to everyone I could (while not actually "talking" to anyone), smiled for 3 hours, and said "yes" to things I shouldn't have. I came home tired, with a hurting face, every Sunday because I was not being "me". Alot of this comes from the Southern-upbringing thing, I think. A good "Christian" lady, especially a Pastor's Wife, would do what I did. But would I? I think it is telling that Rach wrote what she did in the comment section, she's Canadian! I think she said exactly what we all do, we "sell" Jesus with either our perfectness or our brokenness, whichever is appropriate to the situation.

Megan, you're right. There are black and white areas where we should DEFINATELY stand up, and there are gray areas where we are convicted about something that doesn't necessarily mean the whole world should be. Case in point: I was obsessed with "America's Next Top Model" for a while. My husband finally told me that, as a man, he could not watch this show. So, my choices were to banish my husband from the room for an hour (we have a small apartment), or stop watching. The show did not bother ME, it was not MY conviction, but in order not to hurt my husband I stopped. Gray area? I know others who watch the show, I do not think they are bad Christians for it.

But sometimes I think we blur the lines a bit. Here comes the "stepping on toes" part...... Is watching "Desperate Housewives" a gray area? The show promotes as funny adultery, pre-marital sex, bad parenting, the list could go on and on. I haven't even watched the show (uh oh), I just get this all from the commercials! I don't think God is up there with a clipboard in his hand checking boxes "Yep, she watched Desperate Housewives this week, she gets and X", but I think he's concerned with what we fill our minds with. So is this gray?

Mrs. Kathy, I do need some teaching time. I wish you were here to sit with me and hash out this stuff, I remember your back porch and the great talks there. I wish I had a "Mrs. Kathy" while here in Canada. You are right, the Monk still has anger issues, but that's one of the things I like about reading him. I know that sounds strange, but it adds to his ability to be "real". He's hashing out his crap on the world wide web for all of us to see, I think that takes guts.

Chris, did you know what pulchritudinous meant before you looked it up on dictionary.com?

Real

So, I sent out one of those cheesy "Send back the One Word you think of when you think of me" thingys. After about five responses (I couldn't believe so many people responded, am I the only one who ignores these things most of the time?) I realized that this is not a fair and balanced (Fox News, Yep) approach because no one is going to send me back "Crabby", or "Negative" or "Hermit" (Sarah) or "stripper-boobed" (hehe, breastfeeding, remember?) I got many comments that alternately made me feel really good about myself or like people did not know me. I got comical, blogworthy, poop (guess who sent that one?), beautiful, cheerful (come on Joshua, is that even REMOTELY true?), Sister, faithful, accomodating (I'm still trying to figure out if that is good or bad), and my husband sent me Pulchritudinous which made me very happy, you have to look it up, I'm not telling. These are just a few examples, but my favorite one of all was.....

Real.

Thank you to my beautiful friend, Debbie, you made my day. This is what I strive to be every day, but I fall short SOOO often. In the last year or so I have become increasingly more aware of how much I compromise for the sake of not hurting others' feelings. There are so many times that I am not my true authentic "self" because I am afraid I will make someone else feel bad. The funny thing is, most of the time it's Christian's I'm not real with.


Take for instance, the blog that I spent 30 minutes writing the other day and for some reason this &$^&#*$ Blogger won't publish. It was about what God has been teaching me in James, but specifically about "Faith without Works is dead". I won't rewrite the blog, but in short the one thing this kept bringing me back to in my mind was TV. I pontificated for a LONG time about TV and how John and I have been decreasing our TV watching over the last year or so, cutting our cable and now only getting ONE channel, and how even on the commercials you see crap, you don't even have to watch the actual show! Anyway, the point of this is, I don't want someone to ever know my "Faith" and then come to my home and see my "deeds" and leave confused because the two don't match.


But here is the "real" thing.... I was even a little glad the blog wouldn't publish because what if it made someone who read it feel bad? What if it stepped on toes, and made someone think I thought I was a better Christian? (which was NOT my point at all). If I were being REAL, then I wouldn't care, maybe I would even look at you and say "Why do you watch that, it's crap you are filling your mind with". Or, someone gave me a magazine the other day that they were finished with and, even though I do not read this magazine, I took it and said thank you because obviously they DO read this magazine and I didn't want them to think that I thought they were wrong for reading it (I don't, by the way). Or, I was eating out at a restaurant with some good friends who are strong Christians, we were talking about God and theology and all that, the waitress came and these ladies acted like she did not exist, even worse were a bit rude to her and talked about her when she walked off. Now, the REAL me would have said "Hold up a minute", but the COMPROMISING me kept my mouth shut for fear of hurting someone's feelings.

Do you see what I'm saying? This happens almost everytime I'm with PEOPLE. But I would have no friends if I said what I thought. I mean, really, if I went to your house and you were watching something I thought was inappropriate and said "Jesus would not like this that you are watching", would you invite me back over? Or if I looked at that person and said "Oh, I'm sorry, on principle I do not read that magazine", would she still be my friend? Or if I stopped these ladies and said "I don't think it's right for you to treat the waitress the way you just did", would anyone EVER invite me to dinner again????

How do we reconcile this? It's yet another thing that I see in churches that makes me a little sick to my stomach. Compromise. Compromise. Compromise. Sometimes I make myself sick. Why can't I say, in love and not judging, I don't watch that show because as a Christian I think it is inappropriate? So what if it makes someone think about the fact that they DO watch it, maybe it'll open their eyes a little? Ah, crap. Who knows.

P.S. - I also got "true" which also made me very happy. Thank you Robin. Actually, they all made me happy, so thank you EVERYONE!

On a side note, I love the Internet Monk. Here is something he wrote that goes slightly along with what I'm talking about. I think it's interesting, and I think this guy is REAL. So, it's a little long, but I think it's worth it.

Disclaimer: First of all, I like that we are putting disclaimers on our blogs now, as if it will negate any hurt feelings. hehe. If the beautiful woman who gave me the magazine is reading this please know, the only reason I don't read it (People, by the way) is because I have body-image issues and they always make me hard on myself. So, no, I do not think you are a bad person in ANY WAY!)

Video

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Don't worry Aunt Carey, she's playing with a bad copy of your pic!

Ikea

So, yesterday I decided I needed a new trash can. Where can I get a new trash can? Well, there's Walmart, the Superstore, Zellers, or........ IKEA! So, Sadie and I loaded up and spent well over two hours browsing. I came home with NO new trash can, but I made a new friend! We stopped to mutually admire each other's baby accessories (Ikea is SUCH a mom-with-baby magnet!), and got to talking and she lived near me, was new to the area, had no friends with babies, our babies are the same age, and so on and so on. She even had dogs that she took to the same park I did! I liked her, she was cool, and her husband is an acupunturist (sp?) and would be a good friend to my back........... herein lies the dilemma. You tell me...... is it right to make a new friend, a friend who NEEDS friends because she's new to the area, when I'm moving away in less than two months? When she calls me, should I buddy up, or shy away?

My Beauty

Aunt Carey sent me new pictures of the Beauty. I think I should put this girl in magazines. Honestly, why is it that you don't feel at all bad about saying your daughter is the most beautiful girl in the whole world? I mean, if someone complements you, you hem and haw (as my Ma would have said) and say "No, not really", but if they say your daughter is beautiful you say "I know". Yep, I know. Carey, these pictures are beautiful!!!!! Stay tuned, I'm going to upload all of them to the babiesonline page soon!

Read to the End, I say something about Angelina!

Goodbye Sunday. You've been good to me today and I'm a bit sad to see you go. Atleast, I must be because I can't go to sleep and wake up to Monday. Not for lack of trying. I drank tea, I read in bed, I even put on the lotion that usually messes up my eyes so much that I have to go straight to sleep. It's this dang stomach-ache. I think I got food poisening yesterday at a Chinese restaurant. I spent a few hours yesterday wishing I would die, and then today it's just lingering.... come on Sunday, make it go away. Honestly, if there weren't reasons that I KNOW it couldn't be true, I'd think I were pregnant. But no, not yet, please Lord not yet. I love Sadie, but I'm NOT READY for another one! I've still got 14 pounds to go! Yes, 14, for all you girls out there with babies the same age that have 1 or 2 or NONE, good for you, I'm happy for you and hate you all at the same time. There, I said it, there is a part of me who hates you. I will pray about that.

Sunday was good to us. Today John preached at a church in the city for "Seminary Day". Seminary students speak at churches to promote the seminary yada yada yada..... But, I have to say, John was different today. He was nervous about preaching because he wasn't sure if he was ready yet. He's been really intentional about spending more time with God in the last month or so and it's been very interesting to be around to see someone go through brokeness and repentence on such an intimate level. I honestly can't figure out how to describe the way I felt today when he was preaching. He was not the same man. He was different and it was GOOD. He was humble and yet fiery as always. I cried through most of it, and at the response time I just sat there with a silly grin and tried not to run my mascara (I know, shallow). Everyone else is praying/singing/repenting/whatever, I'm just grinning like a silly person. Anyway, I don't think that adequately described Sunday, but I want you to know that God is really working on John. Dr. Peacock (our prof who goes there and asked John to preach) said it right, there is a difference between a sermon and a Word from God, and today we heard a Word from God. I think John would agree that he's been giving alot of "sermons" recently.

I haven't blogged in a while. I'm really not sure why except I'm trying harder to exercise more, and usually when I blog is when she's napping and now I'm trying to exercise then. Did that sentence make sense? Honestly, I used to be able to speak English properly.

Four things from today that made me happy:
1. John
2. The old man at church with the shirt/tie/sportcoat and the Fire-engine-red pants
3. The man dressed as superman standing on the corner of the street.
4. A birthday party for our friend John (he turned 12) and getting to hang out with his amazing family.

There you go. Sometimes I make lists like this in my head. Does that make me crazy? If that's crazy, then call me Angelina cause these lists make me happy.

Okay, now this blog is just getting out of hand. I mean, really, did you care about the man dressed as Superman? I don't think so. But you know what? It's MY blog. That's right, mine. I don't have many things I can call MINE anymore, so this will be the one place I have that I can call MINE and say things like "I hate people who lose baby weight quickly" and "I like the Superman guy" and "I think Angelina is a nut". yeah.