A Good Friend

Today I made peanut butter and honey sandwiches for the kids for lunch and for the first time I had no one to give the crust to. I cried as I put the crust in the trash can. I had no one to get up at the crack of dawn and let out to pee, no one nudging me in my bed with his paw if I chose to NOT get up at the crack. No clickity clack of claws on the tile floor, no sad staring when I asked him to go outside. It's thundering outside and for the first time in nine years I'm not reassuring a dog that it's just thunder and allowing him to basically sit on me so he's not scared.



Last night I said goodbye to Boudreaux. He was truly man's best friend. Anyone who knew him knew that he was an extraordinary dog, well behaved, sweet, friendly, handsome, great with the kids, and my constant shadow - especially after he got sick. He would follow me from room to room, laying down beside me even if I was only in a room for a few minutes.

I am incredibly sad, crying at the drop of a hat, but there are many things I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for when it happened - I was so worried that he would get really sick while John was gone to Canada and I would have to deal with this alone. I'm thankful that we noticed that he was having trouble breathing yesterday afternoon before it got so bad that he couldn't breathe at all. I am thankful that even though it was 5:15 and the vet should have been gone for the day he answered the phone and waited on us to get there. I'm thankful that I got a last chance to tell him how great he was. I'm thankful that the vet gave him two weeks when he was diagnosed and he lived 8. I'm thankful for the incredible nine years and many adventures we had together.


This was no ordinary dog, and Sadie reminded me of that last night. In the car while we waited on Daddy and Jack in the grocery store Sadie asked me to tell her stories about Boudreaux and I got to recount dog park stories of him swimming so fast he stole other dogs toys, of when he fell through the frozen river into the ice and I had to crawl on my belly to pull him out, of when his naughty sister-dog Biscuit stirred up a porcupine just in time to move out of the way so Boudreaux was the one who got quilled, of how he loved the taste of drywall when he was a puppy and literally ate our house, so many great stories. I think God was reminding me through Sadie of how blessed I was to have him all this time.

I'm choosing to bless the Lord and say "Thank you!" for all the years I had of such a great dog. But, unfortunately that doesn't mean I'm not sad. It's naptime now and I'm about to lay on the couch and rest a while. Boudreaux ALWAYS stood by me and whined to get up with me and I always said no because I didn't like the hair on the couch. Today I would gladly say yes and settle in for a good cuddle, no matter how much hair I had to clean later.

A Return to Normal

I title this "A Return to Normal" because that is what I am praying for. Not that I know exactly what "normal" is. I remember reading a book when I was a librarian in seminary, during one of my many evenings of sitting for hours with nothing to do, titled "Everybody's normal until you get to know them". In keeping with this book I choose to believe everyone's life is as chaotic as ours, it makes me feel better. I know, that's very Christian of me.

I have to say thank you to a few of my blogging friends. My previous blog was definitely written on a down day, and I was told by Bufkin that I should blog again soon to let everyone know I wasn't suicidal. But, two different people read my previous blog and felt led by God to send us help. I only mention this to say how awesome the timing was of both of these gifts, I want to tell you in order to praise the Lord for God's providence, and people who's hearts are turned toward him.

The first gift we received the same day that we were getting John's first paycheck from the school system. We had 850.00 in bills waiting to be paid, groceries to buy, and I was supposed to be driving to Arkansas the next day so gas money was essential. He had been working at this point for six weeks and no pay, so we were anticipating a large check. Atleast large enough to pay those bills, groceries and gas. We got $958.00. He was only paid for the first two weeks. The gift we received in the mail that day not only made me cry, but it paid for the rest of our needs!

Then while I was in Arkansas, John called to tell me that I had gotten a letter in the mail from an anonymous person who had sent me a gift. We both agreed that we didn't need anything at the moment, but we also knew that God knew what he was doing so we decided to set it aside because apparently we were going to need it. The next day John went to the eye doctor where he found out his vision had deteriorated and he needed a new prescription for contacts and glasses. We wouldn't have had the money for his glasses if someone had not listened to the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

Both of you know who you are and thank you seems inadequate. You encouraged our family in two ways:
1. You reminded us that God knows all our needs before we do, and HE PROVIDES!
2. You reminded us that there are people out there who care about us and who are willing to help.

We seem to be over the hump now. Considering we are in the ministry, we don't ever expect to be "rolling in it", but for now we are fine thanks to these sweet people who helped us through what could have been a VERY hard few weeks.

We are still seeking God about our future, but for now we are trusting Him with our day to day needs. If you will continue to pray for us I would appreciate specific prayer for direction for John. If we are supposed to stay in Roseland then John needs definite assurance that this is the right decision, and we have to figure out another arrangement for our second income. The substitute teaching is easy and makes good money, but John is miserable. I hate to see my husband miserable. I have definitely reached the point where I would pack up tomorrow and move wherever just to make my husband happy. John and I both know that the problem is not necessarily where we are, if this is where God wants us then we are in the best place possible. The problem is a lack of vision, lack of assurance, a feeling of floundering. We need to know this is where we are supposed to be so that we can plant our lives here, or we need to move. At this point I don't care either way, we just want to know and move in that direction.

Again, thank you to all. I know many of you have been praying for my family and that means more than you know. And thank you again to these sweet people who encouraged us more than they will ever know.