Take THAT Indecision!

Today was the day. I had been staring at that stack of books for at least a month. Moved them around the house randomly to make myself read them, to no avail. But today, ohhhhh today I woke up with a MISSION.

Yesterday I sat with two of my dearest new friends (so strange to say "new" because I feel like I've known these beauties forever) and we talked homeschool. We all brought our books and catalogs, and our children, and while nine children ran wild we DISCUSSED. "What did you use for math....", "did you like that spelling book?" and on and on it went. After much coffee, laffy taffys and some Kool-Aide which apparently had tilapia in it, I went home with a RESOLVE to get this DONE.



This morning I laid it all out. Observe in the picture that I even set out a snack and coffee for myself so that I would NOT get up from the table. I gave a speech to my children about how Mommy was going to go insane for a while and not pay any attention to anyone, they would have to fend for themselves and were free to watch as much television and play as much wii as they wanted. You should have seen the look on their faces. And then I dug in. I made list after list, I googled and homeschool-reviewed, I priced and scratched out, I FIGURED IT OUT!!!! 6 Hours later. Seriously.

You have no idea how sad I was that when I finished my final draft no balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling.

A few minutes ago while cooking supper I realized I was dancing around the kitchen. Sometimes I do that, but it's a rare moment because it's only when I'm REALLY relaxed, like when I go visit my parents and feel like a kid again with no responsibilities. Apparently this was weighing on me even more than I knew.

So, take THAT indecision! I am a woman with a PLAN!

Procrastinator

I have been procrastinating blogging. I have no idea why.

Do you ever do that? Procrastinate something you love to do with no valid reason for doing it? Okay, maybe that's just me.

Blogging is not the only thing I've been procrastinating since my last post about my amazing Daddy. I have been procrastinating one of the biggest decisions of the summer that will affect my entire year beginning the end of August.....what homeschool curriculum to choose. ugh. double ugh.



See, I'm going to let you in on some little known facts about homeschoolers that non-homeschoolers may not realize. We are not all sure of ourselves. We are not all put together. We do not all know what we are doing.

It's possible that after "outing" that fact there will be a mob of women on my lawn very soon burning crosses in my front yard.

If you start reading homeschooling blogs and websites you will get the impression that we all know exactly what we're doing, that we all have amazing plans, amazingly well-behaved children that follow right in line with said plans, and amazingly clean houses in spite of the homeschooling because we also are homemaking goddesses who manufacture our own cleaning supplies and bake our own bread while simultaneously teaching our 4 year old astrophysics.

Well, that is SO close to my life, I must admit (insert psychotic laughter here).


I forgot, for a while, a most obvious blogging world fact. People only really blog about things they are good at. So, those moms who fit the description above feel like they owe it to the world to share with those of us who sometimes suck at whatever they are advocating. For every homeschooling mom blog out there that has it all together there are at least 1000 homeschooling moms at home hiding in their closet, rocking back and forth, sucking their thumb while mumbling something like "is it Sonlight or Charlotte Mason, or should I go with ACE? Am I an unschooler or a school-at-homer or *insert whimper here* are my kids going to get into college if I completely screw them up?"


You see, the decision TO homeschool is really not the only decision. There are tons of decisions after that. You could read a book on homeschooling every day of the week for a year and all of them will tell you a different way to do it. John and I had a long car discussion the other day about how I plan to spend the rest of my summer coming up with my own homeschooling mission statement. I want to be able to fully express my method and goals for my homeschool.

When I figure that out I'll let you know. It will probably be sometime around when my kids are filling out college applications.

The funny thing was that as I was trying to explain my dilemma to John and all the different options and methods before me I was using someone elses words. Everyone elses words. I have no words of my own. Yet.

I am FULLY behind our decision TO homeschool. I have not wavered on that fact. We have just not figured out the best way for us to do it yet. I know that we cannot stick with a curriculum that is a five day a week, check off a list and if you are behind you are BEHIND - our life is just too crazy for that. I can see panic attack after panic attack with that type of study. But that is the only thing I KNOW, there are so many other options that all the things I'm unsure of FAR outweigh the things I am sure of.

But see, just as I start to hyperventilate I remember that Sadie reads on a third grade level and Jack knows how to use phrases like "Viscous solution" and makes up names for his toys like "the spoon of technology". (this paragraph had a two-fold purpose, one: to finish my thought two: to let all you non-homeschoolers know that my children are not idiots.)

So, I sit here next to a stack of curriculum catalogs and another stack of books on homeschooling and wonder when the decision will come. Could be today, could be a month from now, but surely there will be a decision and then whatever the decision school starts in August! Or September....

Surely I'll figure it out before THEY start homeschooling my grand kids.