Well, I gave it a good try. I did. I have to keep telling myself that. But there is a time for trying, and a time for medication.
I'm pretty sure it says that somewhere in Ecclesiastes.
Two months free of medication, ups and downs and panic and normalcy. I know that no ones "normal" life is good all the time, so it's not a "feel good" thing. It's just very hard to parent with the constant symptoms and worry that they induce. My children are much more important than my strange need to be non-medicated.
I told myself to wait until after Nashville, and now my own deadline has come and gone. Today I call up the doctor and we have a talk about which way to go next. I'm dreading the ups and downs of finding the right med for me, but I know that it is a short period of frustration compared to actual LIFE after.
You know what convinced me? If you've read me for very long you could probably guess..... I can't drink coffee without chest pains and a racing heart...AGAIN. And yet, I drink the coffee. I believe it's called addiction.
Hello, my name is Amy, and I am so addicted to coffee that I will wreck my whole day knowingly just for the beautiful black liquid.
Have any of you ever gone through the ups and downs of finding the right medication? Have you figured out what will work for you without medication? And I don't mean super-Christian-just-pray-alot-more methods. I've tried them all and finally concluded that the genes my parents passed down are just laughing at me. My parents also passed the genes for diabetes and I don't think any less of my Mom for taking her diabetes medicine every day. I sure hope no one has ever told her to just "pray more".
So, I guess I'm back to swallowing down my peace with a little pill and somewhere deep inside I have become okay with that. My prayer now has become that I find the right one quickly and don't have crazy side effects.
Although, crazy medications could make for some very interesting blogging....