I'm pretty sure it says that somewhere in Ecclesiastes.
Two months free of medication, ups and downs and panic and normalcy. I know that no ones "normal" life is good all the time, so it's not a "feel good" thing. It's just very hard to parent with the constant symptoms and worry that they induce. My children are much more important than my strange need to be non-medicated.
I told myself to wait until after Nashville, and now my own deadline has come and gone. Today I call up the doctor and we have a talk about which way to go next. I'm dreading the ups and downs of finding the right med for me, but I know that it is a short period of frustration compared to actual LIFE after.
You know what convinced me? If you've read me for very long you could probably guess..... I can't drink coffee without chest pains and a racing heart...AGAIN. And yet, I drink the coffee. I believe it's called addiction.
Hello, my name is Amy, and I am so addicted to coffee that I will wreck my whole day knowingly just for the beautiful black liquid.
Have any of you ever gone through the ups and downs of finding the right medication? Have you figured out what will work for you without medication? And I don't mean super-Christian-just-pray-alot-more methods. I've tried them all and finally concluded that the genes my parents passed down are just laughing at me. My parents also passed the genes for diabetes and I don't think any less of my Mom for taking her diabetes medicine every day. I sure hope no one has ever told her to just "pray more".
So, I guess I'm back to swallowing down my peace with a little pill and somewhere deep inside I have become okay with that. My prayer now has become that I find the right one quickly and don't have crazy side effects.
Although, crazy medications could make for some very interesting blogging....
I love you. And I don't care if the coffee is a motivator, I'm glad you're calling the doctor today. I'm praying.
ReplyDeleteditto what jessica said. feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteLorri
I'm also praying for you and your family as you figure out next steps and adjust to the new "normal".
ReplyDeleteOh Amy, I can totally relate. I've struggled with anxiety for many years and have tried to do the "no meds" but I go back because I know the alternative of being stressed and anxious will take a bigger toll on my body and my family. Praying for ya!
ReplyDeleteThank you Zohary! I'll be there are so many out there with our story, we just don't usually broadcast it. For some strange reason broadcasting makes me feel better!
DeleteHang in there! The fact that you gave it your best try says a lot about the fact that you know you don't just want an easy fix. Keep up the praying, of course, but if your body needs help staying level, then it needs help. Accepting meds does NOT mean you trust the Lord any less...especially if you are making sure to stay close to Him and seek Him constantly and firstly.
ReplyDeletePraying things level out for you sooner than later!
Thank you, Malaika! I need the prayers!
DeleteWeird. I just wrote a blog on the spiritual side of this as I've been talking with a friend about post-partum. On the physical side, the pill is needed almost to help the body practice new patterns. As for the other, have you ever read Elyse Fitzpatrick "Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety"?
ReplyDeleteI have not read this book, but as soon as Amazon delivers it I will!!!!
DeleteHi Amy,
ReplyDeleteI also get chest pains from coffee, and also other foods. You may, or may not, have heard of "Food Intolerance" - you can read more information at this website http://www.slhd.nsw.gov.au/rpa/allergy/.
I have been on the "Elimination Diet" for some months now, and my symptoms, including chest pains, have all disappeared. You may, or may not, be relieved that coffee is allowed, only it has to be decaf. I hope you have not stopped reading now! I thought it would be impossible to stop drinking coffee, but it is possible! and the taste of (Nespresso) decaf is really good.
All the best and God bless
Neale
Oh, and for the nerves I have found a book by Clair Weekes titled "Agoraphobia: Simple, effective treatment", which beyond its title has some wonderfully liberating information on panic attacks. I found that once I understood how my body was reacting to my concerns (about my symptoms), I could prevent them "snowballing" into panic. And with the elimination diet the symptoms that I was concerned about (ectopic heart beats, sickness in the morning..) went away so in the end I had nothing to worry about. And it is all drug-free, so if you want to try some time without drugs these could be constructive.
DeleteI was just reading your blog and I also had "depression, panic attacks, .. and painful neck problems (I also sometimes laugh inappropriately but I put that in another category). I am happy to report that for me, the elimination diet relieved me of all these symptoms. And I lost weight - 10 kilos and I am now within my bmi index. It wasn't easy to do the diet, and I didn't think it would have such a dramatic effect, but once the results started it gave me impetus to keep going. It is all there on the website, and it is run by a reputable University hospital in Sydney.
DeleteI'm sorry you're going through this rough time Amy. I pray the Lord will continue to be with you and guide you.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Nicole
workingkansashomemaker.blogspot.com
Amy, I blogged this week about a similar struggle I am facing with mental illness and medications. You are not alone! Praying that your doctors will quickly find what will work for you.
ReplyDeleteCarva
http://thebusymomsmenuforlife.blogspot.com