Ten minutes later, Sadie passes me in the hallway and says "Momma! I accepted Jesus into my heart!" I smile, say "that's great honey", and as she walks away I look around to see others looking at me and know they are wondering why I am not weeping and hugging and emotionally out of control. For a moment I feel like a REALLY BAD CHRISTIAN. But they don't know....
They don't know that Sadie has accepted Jesus into her heart 80 times in her bedroom. That she asks questions all the time, that she's struggling to figure it all out and reading her Bible more than I do. That she watched her friend get baptized in front of everyone in worship rally yesterday and REALLY wants to get in that cool tub. That she is in process....that she is "being saved..."
See, we've worked with either youth or college students for the past 12 years of our lives. We've seen the damaging effects that can happen when someone is rushed to say a prayer, "accept Jesus", and baptized before they really understand what it all means - then later in life they struggle with knowing if they really ever had salvation. We've seen so many kids "rededicate" their lives, when really it was probably for the first time. I have been that kid.Not all of them, mind you. Some really do find Jesus at 7 and "get it" and never turn back. My personal opinion is that this is rare.
There is no magic in that prayer that is prayed when the lights are low, and the music is playing softly and someone is speaking dramatically hushed. I want my children to accept Jesus with their EYES WIDE OPEN, counting the cost and knowing that this is not game or a fairy tale or an emotional experience.
So, my husband took Sadie for "coffee" that night and they talked about it. We knew after the talk that she is still a bit confused. She thought you "become a Christian" after the baptism, so there's still some work to be done. He used an illustration with her that I thought was really intriguing.
He put a peppermint in her hand. He had her hold it, smell it, observe it. There is so much you can know about that peppermint just by being an observer. You could research how they were made and what herbs are in them, and know from the smell how they might taste. But, until you put that peppermint in your mouth, it is all just intellectual. There is no personal tie to that peppermint until it is in your mouth and in your stomach. You could never TRULY say that you knew peppermint, unless you've actually eaten one.
As parents, we personally believe that Sadie is holding that peppermint and lifting it towards her mouth. Her taste buds are starting to water as she anticipates the minty freshness. BUT, it's not quite there yet.
Is it for you?
Love, Love, LOVE this post! This is exactly what we have done with Sarah Beth and are now doing with Caleb. You have expressed it perfectly here!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to know other parents feel the same! I kinda figured you would, but you just never know how these posts are going to sit with people. I have a feeling there are people reading it and completely disagreeing with me.
DeleteLove this and the illustration. I admire you too for being willing to "wait" on the Lord for this as well. Sometimes we Christian moms seem to take more pride than we should about when our children get "saved". I remember feeling pressure that if my son wasn't "saved" by 6 years old then I must not be modeling Christ very well. You make such a good point on this.
ReplyDeleteIt's definately a struggle, like I said - I could FEEL the other moms staring at me...
DeleteSo thankful for this post from a parent! And so thankful for how you responded!
ReplyDeleteSome friends have been talking about how so often we have put our faith in a prayer we prayed instead of the holy sacrificial blood that covers our sins and the God who sustains us. It seems we cheer for people as they cross the starting line of the marathon (and that's important), but we should also rejoice with and encourage as they cross every mile marker of the Christian race growing to maturity and getting closer to attaining the prize. I don't mean to sound like you can lose your salvation because he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion. But there's also a lot to be said for working out your salvation with fear and trembling.
And yes, I was that kid, too! I'll be praying for Sadie! It's been too long since I've seen you all! Miss you!
This is an awesome post! Such a great message here, Amy!
ReplyDeleteWhat a perfect perspective! And what a great illustration to help a child understand the difference between head faith and heart faith...one of the best I've heard so far. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteAmy, you took the words right out of my mouth. I have questioned the authenticity of children's salvation since becoming a Christian. I have been asked if I have said the prayer with my children and answer "No". Becoming a Christain is something too powerful to take lightly. I fought it for years. I knew God as a child. I knew He answered prayers. But there was a lot of questions as well - why? It was only after much thought and reading through my Bible, going to Chruch and taking Alpha that I was able to understand. I still don't have all the answers but I am eager to learn.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with Caffeinated Randomness last week. I have to apologize for the late visit, but was very busy. :)
Sweet friend...I agree that taking steps of faith is different for everyone. I also think it is important that we watch our children as they take steps of faith. Making sure they count the cost before giving Jesus their hearts.
ReplyDeleteBut I was the girl who gave my heart to Jesus at 7 and never looked back. I still had questions and things to work out and understand. Oh, but I think all of that is what Paul means when he says, "work out your salvation with fear and trembling." Some work it out from a young age and continue. I didn't experience all of Jesus at 7 nor will I ever if I live to be 1,007. But I did experience Him.
As the person standing on the stage praying with those kids and then "counseling" them afterward I am thankful for each step of faith. No matter how many times it takes to say yes it is one faith step closer to Jesus. I am grateful that each of those children are responding to God whether they have it figured out yet or not. Each response leads to more understanding and each morsel of understanding leads us closer to a true relationship.
I don't think the answer is to not invite children to pray the "sinner's prayer." I think the answer is we need to encourage each step of faith and when they have the assurance their salvation is real, they will no longer feel the need to respond. Because God will give them peace. Does that make sense?
That absolutely makes sense. I don't disagree with you, I think we are both right (or, at least as right as we can be....) My personal view is that it can go either way, I think the difference is discipleship. Some kids do "say the prayer", then have loving families or Christian mentors that disciple them through life and grow up in their faith, some "say the prayer" and have no one to teach them the next steps, so 10 years down the road they are a teenager struggling if it meant anything. Discipleship is SO key, especially with little ones. Your kiddos are so blessed to have you for a mother who will lead them in Spiritual growth. Sadly there are many who do not have that.
ReplyDeleteWhat would you do differently? Not ask the kids to pray? Just present the information? I am just still trying to wrap my brain around all this and I don't think I have the answers either. I would hate to not offer this chance, but I would also hate to mislead.
DeleteFaith is such a mystery. Praying God gives us all wisdom about how to teach kids about God and disciple them as we have opportunity.
Love your thoughts friend. Blessed to have you in my life.
I don't know. I'll have to think about that. I'm trying to wrap my brain around it too....
Deleteoh sweet Sadie...such an eager beaver and wants to please! I understand the feeling of everyone around you with THOSE kind of smiles on their faces and you not having the same giddiness...oh do I know that! Glad to hear that y'all aren't "blinded by the light"(just got that running through my head) and just going full force into things. She is such a sweet girl, and I understand the wanting to make sure that she is sure...we do that with each of our kids too...I wouldn't want them to doubt it!
ReplyDeleteThis is very interesting Amy! I do always get disturbed when I see a brother & sister or a family getting baptized on the same day, like it's the cool thing. Salvation and then the outpouring of that by being baptized is not a group thing- it's an individual decision. It just seems a bit forced when we have a group of family. I digress. I also don't fully understand the "saved at 7" thing. Or younger. Do they really know what sin is when they say, "I believe Jesus died for my sins." Again, I know when I became saved there was a lot of learning to come behind that (in 2008 for me), but I think we do need to honestly answer the basic salvation questions with some understanding. Who knows, very interesting topic, thank you for sharing with us at Workin' It Mondays! And it's wonderful to read how your husband and you are working with your kiddos to understand all about Jesus!
ReplyDeleteGood post! My husband and I also work with youth, and we're seeing all the time people evangelizing with "the" prayer... and that's it. We've got some big plans for our youth group this year to hopefully break this tradition and aim for discipleship rather than evangelizing. Thanks for sharing your insight!!
ReplyDeleteAmy, you and your husband are very wise. While Jesus said we must come to him with child-like faith, but without a basic understanding of the gospel, a person is not born again. To give someone a false assurance of their salvation is a dangerous thing. If it's real, there'll be no hiding the evidence! I enjoyed my visit to your blog from B & BB.
ReplyDeleteThat is such a precious story. :) I love the fact that they had a daddy-daughter coffee date to talk about Jesus. You guys are definitely doing a great job - don't worry about being a bad Christian. :) You are a definite blessing to all of us out here in blog-land. Keep smiling and letting Him use you! Lauren, lholmes79.wordpress.com
ReplyDeleteAmy, this is so honest and real. I think we often rush the sinners pray for children and adults as well. We are a fast-food, formula-oriented country and we think people can accept Jesus the same way. As you said, for some it's dramatic and sudden but most of us start a process and when we are actually saved only God knows. I love your husband's illustration as well. Think I'll use that with my grandchildren. Thanks for sharing this on B&BB. Gail (1-Minute BibleLoveNotes.com)
ReplyDeleteHi Amy, I am new to your blog thanks to B&BB. I truly can relate to this post. I have felt and at times still feel the way your daughter does. I took the step of accepting Christ without really knowing what it meant and along the way I have asked many questions. I have struggled with this over the years, but I continue to press on.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and yours.