Several people have asked me lately about The Beast. I feel like I should update you lovely people on my mental illness issues. Yep, I said it, MENTAL ILLNESS. That's what it is, you know? I'm not afraid to say it. Call it "anxiety" "panic attacks" "panic disorder" blah blah, my BRAIN is SICK. You either hide it from the world, or embrace it, ask for help and use your story to encourage others. Well, BE ENCOURAGED!!!
I have felt normal for THREE WEEKS!!! Yes, normal. I feel like someone in AA:
"Hello, my name is Amy, and I haven't had a panic episode in three weeks".
You know what's funny? When I'm ill I can't remember what it's like to feel normal. When I feel normal I forget how bad it is to feel ill. I think that's how we trick ourselves into thinking we no longer need medication a few months down the road.
God can use medication. I don't know where the lie came from that mental issues are ALL spiritual and that we are weak if we have to resort to meds. Some mental issues are spiritual, I am well aware of this. I have been in spiritual depression before, there is a difference. I think the lie came from the father of lies, why would he NOT tell us that medication is weak and that we should just pray more. That our weakness means our spiritual devotion is not good enough. REALLY? Read that sentence again, does that sound like Jesus in the least? I think not.
So, mentally ill people of the world, be encouraged! There is light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know if this light I'm seeing is a constant beacon, or a flashlight about to run out of batteries but I will take what I can get! Grace for the moment!
The Beast has been caged.