Yesterday my sweet hubby asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. My reply? "Nothing". Then he asks me what I want to eat for my birthday supper. My reply? "Nothing". Then I get a lecture about how I should be ashamed of myself and how other people have horrible sicknesses and deaths in their family and real life problems and blah blah. Inwardly I acknowledged that he was correct, outwardly I made a not so nice gesture towards him.
This is the first birthday I am aware of my aging. Up to 35 was no big deal. I felt like I was coming into my own, growing up, finding myself and all that. 36? Well, it's the downhill slide to 40. I cannot be on the downhill slide to 40. On the inside I am still a 17 year old girl who wonders why anyone hasn't noticed yet that I'm not old enough to be married/have children/pay taxes/have to cook dinner.
Birthdays, for me, are always a time of reflection whether I like it or not. This is the day that I sit back and evaluate my last year and decide what I liked and did not like, what needs to stay and what needs to go. This evaluation is yet another reason I have not liked this day. I feel like there are so many goals I intended to reach before HERE, and they remain a carrot on a stick. I mean, somewhere back in the past archives of this blog I even declared to the world that I be in the best shape of my life by 35.
*Pause for laughter....(and a few tears....)*
So, what does a girl do when she's wrestling with unmet goals and inadequate feelings? Tells her girlfriends, of course. After 20 minutes of griping and complaining to a sweet friend today, she told me I should just set a few attainable goals for this year and go for it. I laughed and told her that sounded soooooo easy (in a very sarcastic manner).
Then I realized, she's right. And it really isn't that hard. The only thing standing in the way of that is, gulp, me. That's the hardest part, isn't it? Getting out of our own way.
Simple
Attainable
So, I sit here at Panera, trusty coffee cup (decaf) by my side and a m&m cookie as a rebellion against my age on the plate next to me - planning simple and attainable goals. Here's what I've got so far.
1. Actually finish the Bible reading plan I started on January 1st. I mean, it would be the first time.
2. Arrive at 37 healthier than I am right now. I'm done with numbers and sizes, in fact I plan to not weigh myself this entire year. I just want to feel better in my own darn skin. (But fitting in those clothes in the back of my closet wouldn't hurt either) Obviously I'm going to have to set a few more sub-goals to this one, but the main thing is health. Overall, holistic, body/soul/mind health.
3. Get to know two of my neighbors. And I mean actually know them, not just say hi across the street.
4. Take a class. For some reason I have been itching to LEARN something. I am assuming that this is God putting a desire in my heart, so I'm waiting on Him to show me which way to move on this one.
As a form of accountability I will be regularly blogging my success (yes, SUCCESS!). God may put a few more on my list as I pray through this, but for now I cross the starting line.
As soon as I finish this cookie.
Blessings!
Now, if you're here for the link-up then it's YOUR turn!
Happy birthday! Sorry it feels like a downhill slide...it's not : )
ReplyDeleteI can identify with sitting in Panera writing...one of my favorite places to do that.
Bless you, Gail
I know one more thing you can add to your list of things to do this year, its to have coffee with Leanna! We need to make this happen, and often! Somewhere in my late 30's I stopped looking at my age and just tried to be thankful that Im here. After a little bout with melonoma I stopped caring about my age and was just happy to see another birthday roll around. In my heart of hearts I feel like I did when when I was a teen, at times although a wee bit wiser, but we can discuss this more...over coffee. Blessings and I hope you had a beautiful birthday!!
ReplyDeletehappy birthday!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Amy.
ReplyDelete"May He grant you according to your heart’s desire,
And fulfill all your purpose." Psalm 20:4
Happy Birthday, and let me say, I'm finding 36 to be better than I thought. Yes, I've got a tiny bit more silver in my hair (I don't dye it) and I definitely can't pass myself for a teenager anymore. But I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. I have talents and weaknesses, things I've achieved and things I won't achieve, places I want to go to and places I'll probably never see. And it's all OK with me. I'm happy with who I am. I was never this comfy with things when I was younger. I was always writing to do lists for my life (which I still do) and beating myself up when I didn't do any of it. But now it's all OK. My mom said I'm "mellowing out" which most people do as they get older. I'm enjoying it. Blessings to you!!
ReplyDeleteAmy, at the risk of being one of those people who remind you how fortunate you are to be healthy and whole, I did post a link today to a similar birthday post of my own. In it I share a perspective the Lord gave me as my friends and I begin to ponder the 50TH birthdays that are on our horizon. I hope you'll receive it in the spirit of the Christian sisterhood of the aging (smile). I pray God's richest blessings on you this new year :)
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday friend! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteAmy, finally making it for the link-up party from the Proverbs 31 study we did with Lora@MyBlessedLife!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, and I hear ya, girl! I hit the big 4-0 in a couple of weeks and have also been dealing with the birthday blues. Your advice was great...going to set some simple, attainable goals for the coming year!
Thanks for sharing!
Happy Birthday Amy and remember your right where God wants you to be. I applaud you on your goals....go get em girlfriend!
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!! :) I agree with everyone's comments...don't let Satan convince you that where you are right now is not good enough or important enough. Every age brings AMAZING things to the lives of your family AND yourself as well as God! :) God LOVES your age because He can do more with you now than He could yesterday, with each day you're getting closer and closer to becoming a better you and an even more awesome daughter of God! :) I hope you had a wonderful day! :)
ReplyDelete