Yesterday my sweet hubby asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. My reply? "Nothing". Then he asks me what I want to eat for my birthday supper. My reply? "Nothing". Then I get a lecture about how I should be ashamed of myself and how other people have horrible sicknesses and deaths in their family and real life problems and blah blah. Inwardly I acknowledged that he was correct, outwardly I made a not so nice gesture towards him.
This is the first birthday I am aware of my aging. Up to 35 was no big deal. I felt like I was coming into my own, growing up, finding myself and all that. 36? Well, it's the downhill slide to 40. I cannot be on the downhill slide to 40. On the inside I am still a 17 year old girl who wonders why anyone hasn't noticed yet that I'm not old enough to be married/have children/pay taxes/have to cook dinner.
Birthdays, for me, are always a time of reflection whether I like it or not. This is the day that I sit back and evaluate my last year and decide what I liked and did not like, what needs to stay and what needs to go. This evaluation is yet another reason I have not liked this day. I feel like there are so many goals I intended to reach before HERE, and they remain a carrot on a stick. I mean, somewhere back in the past archives of this blog I even declared to the world that I be in the best shape of my life by 35.
*Pause for laughter....(and a few tears....)*
So, what does a girl do when she's wrestling with unmet goals and inadequate feelings? Tells her girlfriends, of course. After 20 minutes of griping and complaining to a sweet friend today, she told me I should just set a few attainable goals for this year and go for it. I laughed and told her that sounded soooooo easy (in a very sarcastic manner).
Then I realized, she's right. And it really isn't that hard. The only thing standing in the way of that is, gulp, me. That's the hardest part, isn't it? Getting out of our own way.
So, I sit here at Panera, trusty coffee cup (decaf) by my side and a m&m cookie as a rebellion against my age on the plate next to me - planning simple and attainable goals. Here's what I've got so far.
1. Actually finish the Bible reading plan I started on January 1st. I mean, it would be the first time.
2. Arrive at 37 healthier than I am right now. I'm done with numbers and sizes, in fact I plan to not weigh myself this entire year. I just want to feel better in my own darn skin. (But fitting in those clothes in the back of my closet wouldn't hurt either) Obviously I'm going to have to set a few more sub-goals to this one, but the main thing is health. Overall, holistic, body/soul/mind health.
3. Get to know two of my neighbors. And I mean actually know them, not just say hi across the street.
4. Take a class. For some reason I have been itching to LEARN something. I am assuming that this is God putting a desire in my heart, so I'm waiting on Him to show me which way to move on this one.
As a form of accountability I will be regularly blogging my success (yes, SUCCESS!). God may put a few more on my list as I pray through this, but for now I cross the starting line.
As soon as I finish this cookie.
Now, if you're here for the link-up then it's YOUR turn!